100 Best Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny In 2024

A dad joke is a joke, typically a pun, often presented as a one-liner or a question and answer, but less often a narrative. Generally inoffensive, dad jokes are stereotypically told with sincere humorous intent or to intentionally provoke a negative “groaning” reaction to their overly simplistic humor.

An example of a dad joke would be for a child to say, “I’m hungry,” to which the dad might reply, “Hi, Hungry, I’m Dad.”^[1] According to a 2023 survey of 1,500 American fathers and their partners, this particular gag was the most heard of the genre in nine U.S. states and the most common nationwide. Of the states, Pennsylvania and Delaware report the highest frequency of dad jokes heard.^[2]

Some dad jokes may be considered anti-jokes, deriving humor from a punchline that is intentionally not funny,^[3] such as non sequiturs like: “Q: Why did the plane crash into the mountain? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.”^[4]

While the exact origin of the term dad joke is unknown, the term was first published by Jim Kalbaugh,^[4] who wrote an impassioned defense of the genre in The Gettysburg Times in June 1987 under the headline “Don’t ban the ‘Dad’ jokes; preserve and revere them”.^[5]

The term “dad jokes” received mentions in the American sitcom How I Met Your Mother in 2008^[6] and the Australian quiz show Spicks and Specks in 2009.^[7]

The genre began to thrive on social media platforms; in 2017, #dadjokes was one of the most popular hashtags on Twitter.^[4] The U.S. Administration for Children and Families and the Ad Council launched the #dadjokesrule campaign in August 2017 to use the increasing popularity of the humor form to encourage positive father-child communication. Ad Council president and chief executive officer Lisa Sherman said, “Dad jokes represent more than just a trend; these jokes are smiles, moments, and memories made with one of the most important people in a child’s life.”^[8]

LET’S START

BEST DAD JOKES

• Did you hear about the cat that ate a lemon? Now it’s a sour puss.
• How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.
• What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher
• What did one wall say to the other? I’ll meet you at the corner.
• What do clouds wear beneath their pants? Thunderwear.
• What kind of bagel can travel? A plain bagel.
• When’s the best time to call your dentist? Tooth-hurty.
• What’s the best way to catch a fish? Ask someone to throw it to you.
• What do you call a cat with eight legs? An octo-puss.
• What do you call an anxious fly? A jitterbug.
• One did on potato chip say to the other? Let’s go for a dip.
• Why shouldn’t you tell jokes to a duck? Because they’ll quack up.
• How did the piano get locked out of its car? It lost its keys.
• Why did the orchestra get struck by lightning? It had a conductor.
• What do you call a fake dad? A faux pas.
• How do you make an eggroll? You push it.
• I’ve never been a fan of facial hair. But now it’s starting to grow on me.
• Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
• What do you call a pig who knows how to use a butcher knife? A pork chop.
• What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A Sturgeon.
• How do you hire a horse? Put up a ladder.
• Why did the pony ask for a glass of water? Because it was a little horse.
• Is there anything worse than when it’s raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
• How many apples can you grow on a tree? All of them.
• My manager told me to have a good day. So I didn’t go into work.
• What do kids play when they have nothing else to do? Bored games.
• What did the boy say to his fingers? I’m counting on you.
• What kind of music do elves listen to? Wrap music.
• What does cake and baseball have in common? They both need a batter.
• When does Friday come before Thursday? In the dictionary.
• What did the tree say when spring finally arrived? What a re-leaf.
• How can you tell if a pig is hot? It’s bacon.
• Did you hear about the guy who afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
• Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.
• What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
• Did you hear about the guy who drank invisible ink? He’s at the hospital waiting to be seen.
• How do you get a squirrel’s attention? Act like a nut.
• What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you.
• Why did the computer catch cold? It left a window open.
• How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
• What did the earthquake say when it was done? Sorry, my fault!
• What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
• What do pigs use to clean up? Hogwash.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s the “R,” but it’s really the “C.”
• What’s a zebra? A couple sizes bigger than an A.
• Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
• Once I read a book about glue. I couldn’t put it down.
• Where do armies belong? In your sleevies.
• What did one plate say to another plate? Tonight, dinner’s on me.
• Did you hear about the king that went to the dentist? He needed to get crowns.
• What happens when doctors get frustrated? They lose their patients.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
• Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood.
• What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? 14 carrot gold.
• Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.
• Which state has the most streets? Rhode Island.
• What do you call 26 letters that went for a swim? Alphawetical.
• What’s the name of a very polite, European body of water? Merci.
• Why was the color green notoriously single? It was always so jaded.
• I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
• I want to make a brief joke, but it’s a little cheesy.
• Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
• How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
• Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.
• 5/4 of people admit they’re bad at fractions.
• Why did the bedding hide their relationship? They just wanted something pillow-key!
• You’re American when you go into a bathroom and when you come out, but what are you while you’re in the bathroom? European.
• I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.
• Dogs can’t operate MRI machines. But catscan.
• What did the flowers do when the bride walked down the aisle? They rose.
• It takes guts to be an organ donor.
• What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
• What does “Rockin’ Robin” do when she’s bored? Tweet.
• I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
• Why did Waldo go to therapy? Because he needed to find himself.
• How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle.
• Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.
• Why were the utensils stuck together? They were spooning.
• What’s a crafty dancer’s favorite hobby? Cutting a rug.
• How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.
• What kind of music do chiropractors like? Hip pop.
• Where do you learn to make ice cream? At sundae school.
• What kind of shoes does a lazy person wear? Loafers.
• Why is cold water so insecure? Because it’s never called hot.
• Why do dads tell such corny jokes? They want you to groan up.
• What animal should you never trust to tell the truth? A lion.
• What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows. 
• Who was the fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table? Sir Cumference.
• How come no one trusts atoms? Because they make up everything.
• What did the baby computer call his father? Data.
• Why shouldn’t you marry a tennis player? Because love means nothing to them.
• How many apples grow on trees? All of them.
• Where is a fruit’s favorite place to go on vacation? Pear-is!
• What is the easiest way to get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
• What kind of cars do eggs drive? Yolkswaggons.
• Why was the math book crying? It had lots of problems.
• Which part of the body can you always count on? Your fingers. 
• How can you tell a Dogwood tree apart from other trees? By its bark.
• Which food tells the cheesiest jokes? Pizza.
• What’s a knight’s favorite dish? Swordfish
• How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away its credit cards. 
• What shoes do bananas like to wear? Slippers.
• Why do golfers always pack an extra pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one.
• How do you organize a party on Mars? You planet.
• How do billboards talk to each other? Sign language.
• What music do chiropractors listen to? Hip-pop.
• Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
• What beans can you plant but never grow? Jelly beans.
• Why couldn’t the pony sing at the talent show? She was a little horse. 
• What instrument can you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste.
• What falls in winter but never gets hurt? Snow.
• Why did the kids cross the playground? To get to the other slides.
• Why didn’t the teddy bear come down for dinner? He was already stuffed.
• Why did the student eat his homework? The teacher said it was a piece of cake.